Ok, I’ll admit I’m hopelessly addicted to Queer Eye on Netflix. It’s the weekend right now which just means that I have absolutely no plans but to sit on my couch and eat cold pizza while 5 gay guys remind me that there’s still good in the world. Now, I’m a public school teacher and every day, I have dozens of students packed into my room full of their own stories and personalities, and let me tell ya… I see the good and the bad all day long. But I’ve also been doing a little self-guided PD in my pj’s.
Here it goes…
Lesson #1: Learn to Disagree More
I’m not saying a conversation between one police officer and one gay guy will solve all the problems, but maybe it can open up eyes to something more.
– Karamo Brown
How often do we close up doors to those who are different from us? How many times have I shut down in the staff lounge when politics comes up and I’m afraid to say what I think. Why? We are all allowed to feel and hurt in places that no one knows about. We are allowed to stand for things. With all of the politics, especially here in Denver, regarding teacher pay and strikes and decreasing overhead positions, I think it just opens up the fact that we have things we hurt about. We need to allow ourselves to be in the same room and staring into the eyes of people who disagree with us to do any sort of difference. It takes tact, something people online don’t have enough of. It takes patience and grit and stamina to stand for things. We don’t do it behind a computer screen, but on the streets, in the meeting rooms, and in the classrooms. Get out there and open yourself up- hurts can heal, friends.
Lesson #2: Ask for Help
I have a background in counseling because I’ve been to a lot of therapy.
Bobby Berk
It’s about February 10th every year when I come home and tell my husband that I want to quit teaching. The Seasonal Affective Disorder really messes with me (hello, minimal sunlight in a classroom all day…), the kids are anxious from holidays and indoor recess and everyone is digging in their heels to get what they want. It was February 17th when I decided to ask for help. One of the best things I’ve ever done is to get medication and therapy. I’m serious. If oils and vitamins can do it for you, more power to ya! But for me, I needed some serious help. I was crying every afternoon from being so exhausted from worry and my joy and spark was dissolving. I decided to go out on a limb and talk to my doctor. Turns out my meds needed some Spring Cleaning too! Several weeks later and the weather is warmer and therapy is now in the works. But, even if you don’t have a therapist, call someone and cry, hug your dog and cry, lift weights, drink a cup of water, hug a pillow (13 Going on 30 anyone?) do whatever you need to do, but always GET HELP. Teaching, my friends isn’t easy. Anyone who says it is, is either retired or lying to themselves.
Lesson #3: Don’t find your success or failure in the eyes of anyone but you.
I had to fight, a lot of years, to be really proud of the person I see in the mirror and really love this person.
Jonathan Van Ness
Teaching is one of the hardest, most likely to burn-you-out careers that you can have. It just is. Whether you’re preparing for the state test, putting on a concert, showcasing artwork, or presenting at a conference, judgements for teachers are everywhere…I should know, I have a whole crowd of little judges every 50 minutes all day long. Teaching is one of those skills you don’t learn in undergrad or graduate school, you don’t learn it student teaching, and you certainly don’t learn it from those overpriced textbooks you have to read for PD credit, teaching takes failure to find success. It takes a LOT of failure first. Man, I hate writing that because it’s true in my heart that failure is what grows great teachers. Getting yelled at by a parent, being called a “b*tch” from a sad little 6th grader as she walks out the door, teaching a lesson that ends in a disaster, and having the projector not access your computer the SECOND you start class…all tiny little disasters that have created in me a fire. I know teaching isn’t for everyone, but if I’ve learned something from almost 10 years in the biz, I can tell you that the perfect lesson, the students who still ask you to attend their weddings, the time when your class GETS it, when students are honest and raw…that is addictive stuff. Getting over the failures? Not easy. But learning to master one of the most important skills a human being could ever have? That is a thrill that keeps me coming back.
Lesson #4: Putting yourself on a pedestal is a lonely place to be.
I’m very honest about my food background; I’ve never tried to pretend like I was a chef.
Antoni Porowski
We’ve all been at that one PD or that convention with that person. The person who loves to hear themself talk, the person who loves to boast about their accomplishments and to parade the latest and greatest idea in front of everyone… and people swoon, they really do. Music teachers are often the worst at this– whose group performed at convention, rankings of their jazz choir at festival, the score of the marching band show at state…on and on and on. What I’ve learned is that people, and teachers, need to be open about their insecurities and failures because closing off to those who can understand you will lock you away. I’m not saying don’t celebrate success, but celebrate it in a time and place. Don’t pretend to be a kind of teacher that you’re not. What a different world we would live in if people were ok with not being ok more. We’re all getting there. What would happen if you stopped and listened and leaned down to the new teacher sitting in the back of the hall or the worn-out almost retiree. We can learn so much from eachother, but we need to stop pretending we have it all figured out first.
Lesson #5: Find the humor in the hard-to-handle moments.
When somebody says something stupid to me, I usually alleviate it with laughter and humor. I make light of it to educate people on why it’s inappropriate.
Tan France
Teaching is hard enough, without the endless cycles of coulda-shoulda-woulda. In those moments where you misquote, misspeak, or otherwise let someone down, think of this word…grace. Grace is the ability to pick yourself or someone else up when you could so easily admonish or embarrass them. When the topic gets heated, when the conversation turns all too real, when the coffee spills on your white blouse not two minutes into first hour, practice grace on yourself. Laugh a little more and try not to take yourself so seriously. There’s certainly enough of that in the world already. Let laughter heal some of the broken and then attempt to mend. So much of what we stand for as teachers is political. Find the humor in your day, build a bridge with a stranger, and use that to open up conversations.
